Behind The Closed Doors - Poem by Nishant Rawlley
behind the closed doors, behind the fallen eyelashes,
i find myself in lows again,
every tremor seems disastrous,
i feel lost,
i thought i had escaped it,
i find myself in the same web.....yet again,
i shouldn't have let myself go,
i shouldn't have fallen this time,
alas..! ! ! ! i did,
why did it all have to happen,
maybe to jerk me that there's still a lot unknown in life,
you haven't seen it all yet,
thats right, i haven't seen it all,
but how badly i wish to get out of here,
to fly free, ....to fly alone.
to taste the platonic elixir,
to.....where there's true pleasure,
but all that seems all too far now,
i feel lonely, i feel helpless,
i am sinking....deeper and yet deeper...,
there's no calm, unrest prevails,
there's no peace, fear prevails,
time moved on,
i was left behind greiving,
there's an aura of pessimism, as if nothing is right,
life never seemed more meaningless,
death more desirable, .......
i hate myself for giving up my golden principles,
i hate myself for getting emotional,
i hate myself for apologising so badly,
when i wasn't wrong an inch,
what do i get in return?
and a long lasting fear of emotional exposure,
bad deal, beleive me.
yet i want to come out again,
into the free airs, into the infinite skies,
yet i want to fight it again coz...,
somewhere deep down i beleive,
there's a silver lining to my dark horizon,
all i need is strength. the strength of soul,
O mighty cosmos! !
grant me the strength to bear what you put up for me.........
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