Better Man(Child Abuse) Poem by Tracy Rollings

A life in a hole, oh what a scary fright
bad dreams run through your head as you sleep at night
you wake up crying all scared and alone
can't go back to sleep because you know they're not gone

A deadly pain that runs through your heart
of knowing you were hated right from the start
i try to hide it from the world to see
but i cry like a baby, because it's killing me

I asked for love and a helping hand
someone to be there and be a friend
tell me it was ok and hold me tight
help me make it through another night

But all i got was pain in stead
a slap cross the face and a fist to the head
you said you were sorry and it won't happen again
you lied from the start and you'll lie to the end

I remember one, night that i got beat
couldn't sit down, blood running to my feet
you ask me what it was you said
but i couldn't answer and you knocked me cross the bed

I laid there and cried, the rest of the night
still don't know, what it was i didn't do right
are maybe it was because of all the booze you had
get drunk and come home all raging mad

The things that you said and all that you did
still linger my mind from when i was a kid
i said i would forgive you and then i cried
and i told you i loved you before you died

All i wanted was a friend and someone i could call a dad
to sit and think about it now makes me sad
as i sit in my world still scared and alone
i still don't rest easy, knowing my abuser is gone

But some day i hope ill get over it and move on
of the abuse i received for wanting a home
i did my best to be your friend
knowing that i was the better man in the end