Bisexual & Proud Poem by Nahna James

I'm not like you;
I'm bisexual & proud of it;
I'm not like you.

I owe myself an apology for being untruthful to myself.

'You total waste of space, ' I say to myself in the mirror;
'You're a failure'
'You appear too manly to act femine'
'You behave too femine for a straight man'
'You're frail.'
'Your fixation with straightness will not make you a better or happier person.'
'You're to emotional'.

I owe myself an apology for all the horrible evenings when I tore myself apart;
Over imagined shortcomings & disputes.

I owe myself an apology for believing I could never live for myself;
For believing I could never live as a proud bisexual black guy.

Hiding behind a ruse;
Pretending till my face becomes blue;
'I want to love myself! ' I owe it to myself;
'I want to be my true self! ' I scream, I cry.