Black On White Poem by Jade Leven

the days that I loved and remembered
are not what I thought them to be
the days with him made me weak and tired
now these days with you make me feel more like me

the one I thought I would love and remember
is not who I thought him to be
when he pushed me I pushed back even harder
because I feel pain that he can’t even see

but I never cried
as I tried to decide
if my forever changing life
was white on black...
or black on white

there was a time when I figured out
that we love until we stop trying
there was a day that I discovered
we’re priceless until we start lying

and although it’s sad to reflect on
that this is my life and it’s wrong
it’s better I feel so much safer
it’s better just knowing he’s gone

now I’m laughing with you
and my troubles are few
whether or not it feels right
but is that white on black...
or black on white?

am I not the girl I used to know?
who loved life and would never let it go?
am I not the girl I wanted to be?
or is it just different because
I always pictured him standing beside me?

I’ve noticed that people are changing
what we value doesn’t really differ from what we dislike
I’ve noticed that people are changing
so what am I anyway?

this is so awkward
for me to fall forward
when I can’t tell darkness from light
is my heart white on black...
or black on white?

if only I could change this kind of thing
if only there was something I could do
this world needs less of his kind to start with
and millions more of people like you

I have so much to say
and I hate to replay
what I’ve said about colors and spite
but are we white on black...
or black on white?