Blame... Poem by Betty Jo Hilger

My agony is locked away,
and guilty in my peace.
My heart burns with flames
of nourished rage and dread

Being eaten from within,
my soul craves sympathy
Yet with myself I cannot empathize

Pain resides inside my mind,
and in my dreams, just torture find
Unrelentingly consigning my reward

I cannot understand his fear,
still I chose to place him there
And though he’s safe, he hates me,
all the more

Entreating every moment,
hoping, someday to appease
His anger at intruding
when he understood no need

I close the windows of my world
and drift beseeching Lord
Alleviate his anguished
veiled fears

**excerpt from 'Living in Chaos Survival: A Parenting Journey...' **Published through LuluPress 2004