Love is a dancing of very small things
Or river of madness without release -
A starburst of moments bounded by wings
That carry us; an exquisite disease
We greedily suffer its blissful ache
Or river of madness without release
It's a serenade and the vows we make
In the heart of the storm, the dread of loss
We greedily suffer its blissful ache
And borne by love there's no gulf we can't cross
All that it brings seems especially true
In the heart of the storm, the dread of loss
An answering call that's suddenly through
Under our radar and under our skin
All that it brings seems especially true
In eyes that can't hide the smiling within
Love is a dancing of very small things
Under our radar and under our skin -
A starburst of moments bounded by wings
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The form you have chosen for this poem is perfect simply because it combines the freedom of thought with the rigidness of structure and in so doing reinforces the juxtaposition created in the title. The first five stanza’s flow beautifully with their interlocked rhymes and the repitition of the second line of each just unravels the thought process further. The final quatrain creates a resounding echo which is both memorable and thought provoking. I think you’ve even managed to maintain the iambic pentameter throughout…an exceptional terzanelle and one I'd love to hear recited...
Credit this villanelle in terza rima to a true (poeta) maker.
On second reading: writing a villanelle with sufficient skill to conceal labor transformed to ease is an enviable feat of unbounded, unrippled flight.
Thanks for your 'down to earth' comment S W Mcg, though it maybe assumes too much about the escape velocity of love, potentially a mistake of no little gravity...Though I fear you're probably right - on this planet anyway.
I love this...as impressive, if not more so, on successive reads...just going to have to try and deconstruct it in order to figure out how you nailed this form so I can attempt to write my own terzanelle...think I may be bounded by a lack of creativity though...
Delicious write, as always, Jim. We suffer much in the name of love, but it is the one thing we all crave, and would do anything to find. Lovely read........glad to see you here once again!
An exquisite disease...yes it is isn't it :) I enjoyed your word play here Jim. I'm finding many are shying away from it b/c of bullies here confusing English lessons with poetry. A person who believes that every piece of true poetry has to be formatted the way a standard sentence is does not have an accurate understanding of poetry and is devoid of any meaningful emotion with the exception of bitterness. Your poem is lovely :)
Just revisiting as this is one of my favourites of yours...and second time round I'm even more moved..and inspired too to attempt writing something in this form. thanks for this one Jim...
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
A really beautiful poem, a great write.