Boy On A Dolphin Poem by Percy Dovetonsils

Pliny the Younger
famed Roman writer,
tells of a boy
and a dolphin
near the North African town
of Hippo.

He stole the story
from his uncle, Pliny the Elder,
but doesn't say so.

The boy and his friends
met a dolphin
at the town lagoon,
or rather,
the dolphin
made overtures
to the boy,

swam beside him,
behind him,
around him.

In no time
they were fast friends
and the boy
could even
ride
the dolphin.

The dolphin
would allow
no other boy
to do so.

The adults of Hippo
heard about the amazing dolphin
and came to the shore
to see.

The dolphin grew so trusting
he would even come ashore
for brief moments
before rolling back into
the sea.

One day the Governor Legate,
Octavius Avitus,
came to the beach
and rubbed sacred ointment
on the dolphin,
which he took to be
a god.

"What the f__k! "
said the dolphin,
who darted back into the sea
and didn't come back
for days.

Eventually, the trusting dolphin
came back
to play,
but only on the condition
the boys
kept "that f__king politician
away from me! "

And things went swimmingly
after that
except bigger and bigger crowds
came to the beach
to see the dolphin,
causing problems and expense
for the little town.

The city fathers
decided to solve the problem
by discreetly murdering
the trusting dolphin.

No harm in that, right?
After all, this was one dolphin
in a billion.

And what did you expect
to happen
to a trusting dolphin
who came too close
to the damned
human
race?