- Brassed Off: : Humour Poem by Alessandra Liverani

Sally bought a toothbrush holder made from gleaming brass
Solid, smooth and golden, it was really class
But she was loathe to spend long dreary hours
Buffing and shining it, after hefty scours

So she rejoiced to learn that the brass could be sprayed
With a film of plastic; she was amazed
And rushed off down to the nearest hardware store
To purchase the plastic that would eliminate this chore

She searched high and low on every shelf
But thought I’ll never find it by myself
So queried a young assistant wandering around
As to where this can of plastic could be found

She asked, 'Do you sell the stuff you spray on brass? '
He blushed, 'No we don’t”, and spun away fast
She thought his reaction rather strange
But just kept looking through the wide product range

Until eventually triumphant the elusive can she spotted
And deciding she’d tell that young assistant to get knotted
Strode up to him with the can in her hand
Saying, 'You told me you don’t sell this, an explanation I demand'

He mumbled rather sheepishly, 'I thought you said something else
I thought you were looking for another product on the shelf.'
'And what might that be if it weren't stuff to spray on brass? '
He replied, 'I thought you were looking for some spray on bras.'

(Sydney, Australia - 2005)