But Poem by Chyenne Noyb

But



You try, it's called Earth
It's a grass green place
You fail, it's called Life
And it's a race
But sometimes you get picked up,
Held too close for seperation
This line won't rhyme.

Sunday, September 30, 2007
Topic(s) of this poem: green,rhyme
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Tam Lin 05 October 2007

Hey, I'm really leaning towards taking out just the last line. I don't think it's necessary and furthermore it has an overly simplistic sound (I think) , which kinda spoils the niceness of the rest of the poem. What do you think?

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Chyenne Noyb

Chyenne Noyb

Illinois
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