Can It Be? Poem by Heather Marie Allens

can it be so?
no, this can't possibly be true
i cannot possibly be better off
without you

no, i become far too depressed
when you aren't around
count all the marks and scars
that the doctors found

surely i need you here
but when you have to go
i become sad again
you leave me all alone

so which is worse?
what is hurting me more?
being with you as a friend?
or fully locking the door?

does this mean i can't be truly happy?
no matter what i choose?
i cannot have my cake, apparently,
if i want to eat it too.

i cannot have you in my life
without feeling pain.
nor can i keep you out
without going insane.

this predicament im drowning in
has my mind consumed
it would have my heart, too
except that it's still with you.

i cannot leave my heart
but i can't continue this way
so here's my solution
throw the other girl away!

we can be truly happy
we can be everything
more than friends, more than lovers
can't that be our happy ending?