Cancer And My Struggles Poem by Chloe Coleman

this poem was written awhile ago in a flood of emotion so it may not be very good...

People send their sympathies
but, they don't really understand
no one can give you true empathy
for when you are truly sad.

Support groups and doctors,
pretending that they know,
they do only partially
doing their jobs though.

Hair falling to the ground,
vacuums full of it
I'm not aloud to make a sound

I felt neglected, lost and alone
I know that I'm not.
I keep my feelings Unknown

I felt like I was drowning,
in a sea of medics.
not a smile among them,
all of them frowning.

Raw nerves colliding
a tear or two.
My window is sliding,
My guiltiness grew.

slowly I close it, I can't just leave
My heart and my mind telling me things.
A knock at my door, calling for me.
I open it slowly, my tears are falling

Visiting the hospital, cold and clean
the smell of anti-spectant
makes it cold and mean.

Each night a prayer,
as I cry to sleep.
Life seems unfair, to me at least.

I felt so trapped,
cold and alone
I can't believe I haven't yet snapped

I wrap my arms around myself
and pray again, and again
now I'm not so alone, I'm not with just myself

I feel his arms around me.
as I cry to sleep again
but not for pity, for gratitude, for being with me.

he understands all of my pains
and all my worries
he will wash away all my stains

And as ignorance leaves and understanding takes it's place
The old me dies, replaced with someone new.

Someone with a greater faith, and deeper scars
the girl I once knew is gone.
She is lost, but not forgotten, as she reaches for the stars

I have a new beginning, to make a fresh new start
I've blown it once before.
But I can do better, with this change of heart

I won't let the down again,
I'll try harder for it this time
cause I can keep on going, until I reach the end.