Carpark Poem by Michael Mc Dermott
Carpark
In the gravel carpark are seven cars without colour
One is grey, two is dark grey, three is light grey, one is fawn grey
Only in black, and then dark blue- black
But what is this?
A green and yellow van
See, we only have to wait
Three sneaky cats still patrol our carpark in the morning sun
Giving cover, the grey cars parked there are as innocent as nuns
A greedy magpie wants to eat the cautious early worm
Let the young resolve all this with a referendum every morn
Not too sure about this one. The third line is a bit long compared to the others. If you shortened it by taking out the numbers perhaps just saying grey, dark grey, light grey and fawn grey it would give it a bit more impact.
hi Bill, I was trying to make it lopsided to cause unease/confusion and then resolution. thanks for the comments.
A good start with a nice poem, Michael Mc. You may like to read my poem, Love And Iust. Thank you.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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5/5/2024 5:55:43 AM # 1.0.0.1119
hello again Bill, I was trying to make it lopsided to create unease/confusion and then, resolution. Thanks for your comments