Cautionary Tale. Poem by Neil Gray

I knew this guy
who used to drink
in the same bar as me
who was into
extreme pain
whilst fucking.

He claimed it
used to make his orgasm's
even more intense
if his partner
used to hurt him
while they were
reving each others
engine's.

He used to like
woman to cut him with knifes,
punch him in the face
as hard as they could,
that kind of shit.

'Seriously man' he used to say
'there's nothing like it.
Only problem is
most of the woman I meet
are either freaked out by me
or get tired of it real quick.'

One day he told me
he'd met the perfect girl.

'She's the one.' he said
'She loves to hurt me,
she can't get enough of it.
She keeps coming up
with new way's to cause me pain.
It's amazing.'

One Sunday afternoon
they were in the kitchen
cooking dinner
when the urge came upon them
and they started
in on each other.

She told him
she had a new trick
and before he could say
anything
she grabbed hold of his scrotum
and jammed it hard
onto the cooker's
red-hot surface.

'Completley destroyed it mate' said Rob the Barman
as he served me a fresh drink.
'Welded it to it.
So when he jumped back,
as you would do,
it just tore it away.
Poor fucker never stood a chance.'

I crushed my cigarette out
into an over-flowing ashtray
and smiled to myself

One way or another

by fair means or foul

it seems
they always get your
balls in the end.