Change Poem by Cloe C

Lately everything has been going wrong;
You can say you're trying to help me but your just playing along,
because the second we part
you say the meanest things to try to break my heart.

I know all the things said behind my back,
I'm just not like you and won't attack.
There's a reason that I'm so quiet
Because you all are making me riot.

I already am struggling, angry, and sad,
All I'm saying is you don't have to add.
It's already hard enough to show up
without everything else you disrupt.

Don't help push me past my limits,
I might have years or I might minutes.
Inside my head,
all my thoughts already have me dead.

It's happened before, and it might happen again,
my heart stopped and my lungs ran out of oxygen.
You don't need to hear the gore,
just understand, inside my head is a war.

Every minute of the day I am about to break,
it feels like I've been drowning in a lake.
I'm stuck and can't breathe
and there's nothing there beneath.

No one is there to see me drown and know I need help.
All that is there are my shriek yelps.
And even if I was saved,
all of the damage has already been paved.




I've hardly been able to go to bed.
I've been leaving my phone on read.
I have a pile of laundry higher than towers
and it's been so hard to take showers.

I still didn't sleep last night,
because I don't remember the last time things were going right.
It feels like I'm alone and lost in space.
Life, please give me more grace.

Instead of texting my friends,
I'm making sure my life extends.
I'm texting the crisis number,
trying to get my problems outnumbered.

My laundry hasn't been touched
because it's piled up so much.
It's just another task on my to do list,
I wish this all didn't exist.

And it's hard to take showers when you have no motivation
I hoped things would get better when I found inspiration,
But nothing has changed,
my life and everything in it is deranged.

They say things get better as you age:
as I've aged I've gotten more rage.
This hopeless cycle feels like it's never going to end
But I hope you're able to comprehend.