Monday, June 19, 2017

Change Comments

Rating: 0.0

Time shall come after years of being accustomed
Life was built on the foundation of a lie
Past to present, then to now, outdated systems
Settled upon by alterations of the mind of man
...
Read full text

Marcquiese Burrell
COMMENTS
Jefferson Carter 19 June 2017

Marcquiese, tmost effective poems use vivid images to convey their message. You do have a message here, but you employ so many abstract words (change, pleasure, pain, etc.) , I feel nothing. Perhaps immerse yourself in some good contemporary poetry (Mary Oliver, Jack Gilbert) for inspiration and guidance? if you have time, check out my new website: jeffersoncarterverse.com Tell me how you like it. Thanks! Yrs, JC

1 0 Reply
Marcquiese Burrell

Marcquiese Burrell

Baltimore, MD
Close
Error Success