Chas'n Deer On My John Deere Poem by RJ Cook

Chas'n Deer on My John Deere
By RJ Cook Hazelia, Oregon

Ride'n on my John Deere mow'r
With acres to be mow'd
Spend lots a time a think'n
I bet most farmers kinda know

Crops sprout'n and a grow'n
Lots of critters comin round
Won't be long before varmints
Know ‘bout my ole farmers' frown

Winter months was for think'n
‘bout what seeds to plant this year
A time to rest and do paperwork
And fix all our farm'n gear

One day was out a mow'n
On my John Deere mow'n machine
Saw a bunch of 4-legged mowers
The likes I'd never seen.

4 Bucks, three spikes a doe, or two
herd of mow'rs all in a bunch
Never stopped to think maybe some day
could be dinner or even lunch

Slowed my trusty John Deere mow'r down
As stealthy as I could
To try and sneak up close to them
As good John Deere Mow'n hunter would

As my John Deere ride'n mow'r
Slowed to a quite stop
Instead of plant'n wine grape vineyard
Should've planted 'beer barley' or even 'hops'

The 4-legged herd of mow'rs
Gave green and yellow cousin a pleas'n stare
My John Deere riding mower loved their
Big Brown Eyed approving glare

Trying not to be a hunter
of the wild venison meat
But how to keep those critters
from eating grapevines little leaves

But comin to my senses
Knowing what we had to do
Crank'd up the John Deere Mow'r
Now a Mow'r and Deer Chaser too!

Chas'n up and down the vineyard
Row by row and round the farm
The herd was hard to maneuver
Didn't mean them any harm.

But when they eat the early sprouts
From the vines of grapes we grow'd
There is no other way to show them
It's really time to hit the road

Chas'n deer down a row of grapes
Their leader at full speed
Turned the corner and there he stood
Just looking to be freed

Pinned in by vines and wires
And nowhere else for them to go
Thought It was a good time
For mow'r to stop or go really slow.

Green and Yellow Cousin
With tires and no tail
Hard for mow'r to 'buck' him
With no antlers and would fail

When on your ride'n lawn mow'r
The manual states it clear
Remember it's for mow'n
Not for Chas'n herds of deer

When all is almost said and done
The question will be clear How did I live to tell the tale,
Chased by Deer on my John Deere?