Childrens Beliefs Poem by Dakota Ellerton

When I look through my eyes,
at the reflection in the mirror,
I gag.
This isn't who I wanted to be.
Two years,
of being something so cruel.
Four times,
five times a day.
Even liquids don't settle right.
I could claw and scratch at my throat,
and still not feel relieved.
I will always slip away in mid conversation,
everyone's distracted they'll never notice.
I dropp to my knees,
leaving the tap on.
I turn my music on,
no on will hear me.
Almost an hour has gone by,
and I just sit on the floor.
I feel so numb,
but I'm only following routine.
How deep do words go,
as a child you'd believe anything.
The seeds have been planted,
they've rooted.
This is what the people have made me.
Self loathing.
I wrap my arms around myself in disgust,
another day, another night,
I can be my own company.