Leah Ayliffe

Gold Star - 6,300 Points (June 8,1991 / Toronto)

Classroom Daydreams - Poem by Leah Ayliffe

*It's supposed to be forever*
There is no lie so beautiful.
There are no words so fatal.

I had a dream that 'one hundred years went by*
I didn't notice because trees stay still.
My mortality took me by surprise
driving fast, I saw that I lost my youth
in the gutter, in the stars
It matters not.
When I woke I laid a while
staring at the ceiling.
We're at a loss with wasting time,
I don't know how to go about saving my own life.
*At risk of death*
What great benefit
to risk a whole life
and already knowing what it is to die.

She was *more expensive at the beginning*
She became *cheaper by the end*
She was adjustable,
to reflect the actual experience.
She was paid.
unaware of her value.

*Slow me down*
I'm screaming so loud inside my head for help
but no one hears the sound
'Cause I'm laughing drinking wine.
Sometime's one of them catches a glimpse
of the slow burning out of the shooting star.
*In the right circumstance, it's a good thing*
but early on it's a tragedy.
*Can I afford* to put my thoughts on the line?
What if they're not returned - not even in an echo.
Let's say I buy your attention with sex
I stumble into affection with wealth,
can you put time into nurturing my mental health?
I have *withdrawn
and I can't pay the difference*
Designed to demonstrate the unusual undoings of a woman who loved the world so much,
seeing it destroyed cost her her sanity.
*I don't typically disclose that*
Essentially, I live just to have fun and endlessly create a life of art,
removed from the running river.
Borrowing words and style and images from others
to weave my own identity as a shelter.
I know you're lost too.
*Does that make sense? *
We will have that test tomorrow.
I beg of you, please.
Slow me down.

That's part of the story.
Riders know the dawn
as time goes by
I'm going to need more flexibility
to ensure your chains aren't mine.
*You have to die within the year*
an accidental death dear love.
Do not pretend to know me.
Though, you know me well,
Most well.
You do not know my chains.
Dear love, *they're so hard to qualify for*
and I will not let you feel their weight.
I have to prove I'm not faking it.
and you,
You *have to jump through hoops to prove you're not faking it*
Flexibility - accelerated freedom masking broken hearts.

Topic(s) of this poem: broken, freedom, lost, love

Poet's Notes about The Poem

During a class I am taking on finances, I obviously got lost in my head, and decided to write instead. The starred parts are words that the teacher spoke in the class that I added in.

Comments about Classroom Daydreams by Leah Ayliffe

  • Paul Davies (12/20/2015 7:54:00 AM)

    Hold out for every detail of this contract to be satisfied. Nothing other.
    When it is, you will forget the lie. Forever is not a long time; it is not to do with time really.
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  • Souren Mondal (11/28/2015 1:02:00 AM)

    [...]I'm screaming so loud inside my head for help
    but no one hears the sound
    'Cause I'm laughing drinking wine.[...]

    [...]I'm going to need more flexibility
    to ensure your chains aren't mine.[...]

    Your poem left me wondering and contemplating for minutes. It's a wonderful one, particularly, the two parts I quoted from it above touched me. It's hard all the way through to pretend, in anything. Faking emotions or faking that we are faking emotions while we are actually faking them f***ing hurts. And when someone sees beyond that wall that we have all created to protect ourselves - we become happy for a while since we feel someone had actually taken pains to look 'beyond', but after sometimes they go 'beyond' it and start making up their own 'theories' about us... What was about us, essentially becomes something about them.. Maybe much like how I interpreted your poem, took it and viewed it from my own perspective.. Individual voices and concerns is all that remains perhaps in the end - in utter isolation...

    Thank you for sharing Leah...
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Poem Submitted: Friday, November 27, 2015

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