Close My Eyes Poem by Linda Engwall

Some days pieces of me feel like they are floating above
I close my eyes in hopes to gather them all in
Breathing in and out

Reluctant, I don’t know why
Bringing them together causes me to shutter
So I practice again by shutting my eyes
Knowing that the power is in knowledge
I concentrate on that
Believing if I can finally do this
It will pull them altogether

In my perfect mind, in my perfect world
They will all find each other
That little girl who witnessed so much turmoil
The young women ill equipped to understand what any of it really meant
A young mother that was always falling short and continued to make the same mistakes as done before her
To the now middle aged women trying desperately to somehow make a difference in her life

They belong to each other, then and now
One human being learning to love and forgive
Ourselves and others

In this world I know
It is not meant to be perfect
Never can I stop learning
Trying to do it better

In my perfect life
It would all work together so nicely
So let me close my eyes once more
Imagining how it will be
The perfect place
I can rest my head
Someday
But not today