Coconut Grabs Poem by Steve Howard

Wiffilabiffila put out to sea.
Typhooned then marooned,
on an island was he.
Yet he found all he needed,
yes he did, yes siree;
oysters, and fishes, a coconut tree.
But he was lonely and bored,
yes he was, yes siree.
There was not much to do,
on his isle in the sea.
He said through a mouthful of coconut grabs,
"Life is ho hum just cavorting with crabs.".
Then early one morning,
out with the crabs on a spree,
he spied a young woman,
washed up from the sea.
He rubbed her, and drubbed her,
and twiddled her nose,
until she was huffing and puffing,
and pink as a rose.
Then she hopped all about,
with a tumescent sheen,
shouting, "This is my island,
and I am it's queen! ".
She said, "You have been lazy,
lying about in the shade,
but now there's work to be done,
and there's plans to be made.".
She made him sweep all the dunes,
wash and stack all the shells.
She hated disorder,
she didn't like smells
She made him cut back on the coconut grabs,
She made him abstain from cavorting with crabs.
She made life a misery.
Yes she did, yes siree.
He longed for the days,
when he was lonely but free.
Then on the horizon,
a sail did appear.
Both he and the queen,
gave a whoop and a cheer.
She said, "I am saved,
I an saved from the sea!
You shall come too,
and my servant you'll be.".
Wiffilabiffila said with a wink,
"That's just what I thought,
what I thought you would think.".
Then he said through a mouthful of coconut grabs,
"Have a nice trip.
I'm staying here with the crabs.".