Comfort Lost. Purpose Found Poem by Mike Smith

In constant pursuit of that ever elusive feeling of comfort and purpose. Contentment and acceptance. Not perfection, not a life of ease. But one of achievement and a well earned happiness. The target, the bullseye I aim for in my toils and diligence, it eludes me even as it stands in my sights. It appears in range. It seems within grasp. My projectile, in flight at the first perception of a greater good, without fail, falls short or over shoots or misses to this side or that.
No archer am I, merely a wishful thinker impatient and ancy in his blind. Attentative to the point of exhaustion. I see the ingredients to a happy life. I hear the sounds of elation in the distance. I smell success. I taste a future spiced with delight. I feel the door to dreams come true. The key is hidden in plain view. It fears discovery. Misdirection is it's tool for illusion.
Magician. A good one never tells the secret to the act. Loose lips sink ships.
Race like a lab mouse through the maze. The cheese is my destination. My journey is tangled with wrong turns. Determination alone carries me onward.
Ever searching. On the prowl for the prey. I pray for direction. I'm tested by false navigation. I overcorrect my route and remain at sea. The coast is a mirage. The captain becomes mutinous. The crew fear the worst. First mate hopes for the best.
We all find solid ground.... well, not just yet we haven't. But it is within our capacity. Just need a guiding star to coach our ship to harbor.
The moon illuminates the path. The dock is vacant. The town is as a ghost. The ship sails on. The storm approaches. Full mast. Ride out the white caps and continue the exploration.
S.O.S. travel to places unknown. Stranded. Cry for help. No one can hear. Cast away. Take it in stride and build a homestead. Wait here and dream of rescue.
Lost. Cornered. Deserted. Yet, somehow, fully comfortable. One gets used to the concept of abandonment. It feels like home. Familiarity quells the heartbreak of loneliness which, so long ago, was thrust upon an unknowing boy.
Now grown, I can understand their motives. Their reasons for leaving me to fend for myself. With help only from a mother doomed to the fate of cheap vodka.
Had I had the option of fleeing at that stage in life, I I very well may have taken it. But, I was only a child. No means to a comfortable end.
I endured anyhow. Through all my loneliness and lack of guidance, I came out as I stand today.
Unimpeded by my obstacles, unworried about the tasks thrust upon me. I accept this life for what it is.
None of us have the luxury of choosing our starting point in this rat race. Yet, we all have the option to change our course in order to finish ahead of the pack.
Never think that 'A man can't change his stars'. A man, a real one anyhow, can do most anything. Mark these words; Mike Smiff will change his stars to suit his needs.