Composed After Watching The Human Stain: How Sometimes It Is Poem by Dennis Ryan

February 27,2005

"Theism is a deep-seated conviction that there's some hand to hold: if we just do
the right things, someone will appreciate us and take care of us."
- Pema Chodron, WHEN THINGS FALL APART

"An animal?I'm a crow.Yes, a crow.But like the one that can't live with other crows."
- Nicole Kidman speaking in character in THE HUMAN STAIN

About three years ago, I wrote a poem
about how I preferred hopelessness and unbelief
to belief.I meant to write this too: "I don't know if
God exists, but I know that you and I do right here
right now, and that's what counts, saving us.
If you want to believe in "God, " whatever that means,
go right ahead, but I'm going to spend my time
believing in you, believing in care, compassion,
sympathy and love, wherever they come from.
This is what life's all about, or should be,
how sometimes it is, and all these arguments
about God's existence seem pointless to me.
Either he exists or he doesn't.If you have faith,
go right ahead, just spare me your moralizing,
your righteousness, save them for someone else
who's holier and more righteous than me—
I'm already well-acquainted with your gospel piety.
But I grantyou this: "God is different things to different people...
God is faith and belief.Everyone has faith and belief
in something"—no doubt, no doubt. But if God exists,
he must exist in you and me, in our kind acts,
and not in gunfire on the plains, and not in ugly,
untimely, horrendous deaths.I knew two persons
who lost nearly everything, but by accident they found
each other, found love, thereby alleviating feelings
of deep loneliness and despair, anger and pain.
If God exists anywhere, He exists in these two people,
and not in some churchgoers who proclaim God's goodness,
righteousness, mercy andlove, then proceed to rip
this couple to shreds within minutes of church letting out."
This is what I meant to say.I hope you can hear me now.