Confusion Of The Past And Present Poem by stephanie murillo

Pain, so much of it comes and goes unexpectedly
My heart is aching
Like a burning fire
Flames growing stronger
Almost instantly
I need to rest now
Put me to sleep for a while
Send my mind to a place of peace
Where there’s no pain, no drama, no emotion
Just a peaceful place
Where I can rest my head for a while

Life plays tricks on us all the time
Why must we go on this way?
Aren’t humans tired of pain?
I know I am
I’m still stuck in the young days
My youth years are still here
Yet my mind is as if it’s giving up
For it’s gone through a lot
Stuck in two different time periods
One wants to leave
Almost done with the race
While the other part is just beginning just left the start line

There’s a war going on inside my body
The two time periods are finally done they want just one
For there’s not room for two just one

Slowly deteriorating
Giving up
One is full of life
Living it to the fullest
Yet the other needs life support
It cannot breath on its own anymore
Dr. says, “life support wont hold much longer”
Yet I can’t make that choice to let go

I’ve grown with that side as well
Can’t just throw it in the garbage
For it’s still a part of me
But slowly it’s fading away
Could hardly see it how
But once in a while
It comes out to speak out
It’s values, it’s lessons learned
From the past but I don’t want to hear it
So I ignore it
And walk away
Now I can’t find it
God has erased my pathway
So now im lost in the dark