Counting Calories - Poem by Dónall Dempsey
Using both hands
I fumbled to unhook your bra.
You told me that action alone
was causing me to burn 8 calories.
Things got a bit more Karma Sutray
as I attempted to unhook(damn this bra!)
with one hand only
(my other hand being busy doing other things) .
You said: “You know
you’re using 18 calories
to unhook it with one hand”.
You slipped it off
in a jiffy.
“You know that in computer jargon
...that’s 10 milliseconds? ”
“No...I didn’t! ” I stammered
getting all hot under the collar.
This was just too much information.
We kissed energetically for an hour
which yes...no...I don’t want to know..
“...burns off 300 calories! ”
“Now, when we make love..”
“Shhh! ” I whispered. “Shhh! ”
silencing her with a kiss.
And yes we had definitely lost weight
(I felt as light as a feather) .
and burned off more calories than I will ever know.
A terrible thought hit me.
“You’re not using me to diet? ”
“Shhh! ” she whispered. “Shhh! ”
silencing me with a kiss.
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