Daddy Poem by Monica S Martinez

Daddy never showed us our worth
He was too busy undressing our innocence
Said we taunted him with our curves
And so, what if it was just a smile
Unwelcomed advances leaving us uncomfortable and confused
Though soon it became natural
For Daddy's hands cascaded up our thighs
Teaching us to lie and keep secrets
Secrets that would prove too heavy of a burden to carry
It was the price we paid for him to be our first
Because you never forget your first
And silently like a ninja he crept upstairs
To take what was rightly his
One by one our pleas didn't prevent him from stopping
Crying ourselves a river
Laying numb as he invaded our walls
And now we're left here to pick up the pieces
And live the American Dream
They say in order for you to heal one must learn to forgive
Surely, they hadn't experienced half of this pain
Where nights when you said no
Led to your defense mechanism of the stories to be told
Because the bruise was evidence of you being disobedient
These therapists were clueless
Couldn't even fathom the idea of being so scared
One couldn't find the strength to scream
Because your voice box disappeared
So instead you used your hands for sign language
In hopes that he understood that No Meant No
Some nights when rainfall would come
We lean our head outside in order
To be ease the pain and be reborn
Maybe just maybe if we could erase his smell
We wouldn't have his stench probing at our nose
or him hushing us behind mommies back with his fingertips
Though the therapist said we were strong and resilient
And we could get past "this"
Only she never knew what "This" was
We never spoke "this" into existence
Because if we didn't speak about it then it didn't happen
So, you see there's not always a happy ending to all stories
After all we were liars in mommy's eyes to our surprise
Now
Infidelity it plays a huge part in who we've become
couldn't be faithful even if our lives depended on it
Although we crave love
We just don't know what it is
And we hurt those who we come in contact with
Though I want to say to say it's not intentional
It's just how this story unfolds
Not knowing how to break this cycle to teach our daughters
So, we continue our search
In hopes that one day we will find our worth
But until then
let me apologize to all those I've hurt
I'm sorry