Danger Perceived And Rectified Poem by Charles Chaim Wax

One day
in the Teacher’s Center
Nellie Nilan
sobbed uncontrollably
so Henry Heron
being a friendly fellow
put his arm around her shoulder
saying, “My dear, my dear.”
Nellie turned to him
whispering hoarsely, “I got now
one foot in the grave.”
“The glass is half full
I always say, ” proclaimed Henry Heron cheerfully.
“ASSASSIN, ” she screamed.
After that
no one dared
try to comfort her
because if the genial Henry Heron
had failed,
what chance did they have?
so day after day
she sobbed in the Teacher’s Center
no one attempting to quell
Nellie’s weeping
even though that noise
unnerved everyone.
Such a tone!
the reverberation terrifying
each individual
calling to mind remembered tragedies.
Then
I alleviated
the menopausal horrors of Nellie Nilan
through the use of nutritional supplements
and teachers at Spinoza High School
approached me for recommendations
on all sorts of medical problems
the most common being
corns
obesity
nymphomania
hemorrhoids
gout
gallstones
liver damage
heart murmurs
and melancholia
which
David Solomon
had suffered from
for more than
two decades—
600 mg of 5-HTP
did the trick
sent him
spinning like a top
but afterwards
I closed up shop
because
he began calling me
The Master
out of gratitude I’m sure
but
wasn’t true
and Truth
is sacred.