Ashley Goncalves

Rookie (July 17,1995 / New Jersey)

Dear Journal - Poem by Ashley Goncalves

Dear Journal,

Today I sat alone in class wondering why I was here today
So much has happened and hurt, I have so much to say
I like this guy, he sits alone, and I always sit alone too you see
The problem is, I'm too quiet and afraid, no one notices me

I'm thinking about where my life will take me and where I wana' go
The problem is I'm too afraid to even tell another soul
You see no one cares and no one will so I always decide to hide away
But in the end I'm so alone, and all I can do is pray

Today was nice though, not so bad, and I have to think real deep
You see my thoughts of life and this sadness I have make it really hard to sleep
I write to you because I have no one else to talk to
But it's okay because when I'm alone at least I confide in you

It's raining out and I'm hoping that my dad doesn't come home
My poor mother died recently and I'm always left alone
When my father's here he's always drunk and likes to beat me around
Some mornings I wake up dazed and bloody on the ground

I wonder if you'll ever be read and made into a book
But I really doubt that anyone would care to even look
It's only true that there are so many journals in the world
But what's special about you is that you're for me, a very lonely girl

Tommorow's Friday, I'm so tired, and I really want to snooze
I just want to fall asleep, far away, where my dad can't touch the booze
I want to just escape from here and fly into the sky
Like a bird who is so free, andthere's no need to even wonder why

When that day comes I want to be an angel like my mom
I want to be by her side and be a light so very strong
I hope that God spares me soon and takes me away from here
But I know if his will is otherwise, the reasoning is sincere

Well it's getting dark and I should stop writing, I hope you understand
You always were, and always will be, my very best offriends
I'm going to try and escape into my dreams tonight
So goodbye for now, my Dear Journal, and please pray that I sleep tight


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Poem Submitted: Friday, August 20, 2010



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