Death Is Life Poem by Miiya Skky

I awoke this morning at 4am from a confusing dream I had, not sure what it meant but it did make me think for a while. Is my life full of darkness cause I'm not really awake? Or am I awake but living in darkness? I go about my day trying to find the smile I so desperately long for once again. I find it at times but to me it doesn't seem real; Life doesn't seem real anymore. I watch myself falling into my own thoughts, running through paths, nowhere to turn to; Painfully lost in the darkness. I miss those bright mornings, sun shinning, closed eyes held tight kiss kind of days. Now when I wake up all I want to do is continue sleeping because I feel the happiest in my dreams. Then there are days where I can't sleep for hours on end. When my feelings, thoughts, and memories, have completely consumed me and my body feels drained that's when I fall into a deep depression. Not all days feel that way though there are times where I feel somewhat alive and joyful but still hidden behind bathroom wiped tears and run away thoughts. What use to make me happy is simply breaking me inside, and all I want to do is feel those remarkable butterflies, endless smiles I use to feel. I try real hard everyday to be the person I started off to be when I broke through the despondency that almost killed me then I just find myself being pulled back in. I want life, I need love I even try to embrace it each day; Does it even see me? ? I'm starting to really think that this life I live is just messing with me and one day I will wake up being in a forever spiral of contentment. Vanishing the shadows that live dormant inside my soul so I can finally fleer among this world once again. I use to think that the worst pain a person can ever experience is the one were you feel completely alone within your own thoughts, but now pain is life. At this point I just want one day where I feel just a little bit normal, and maybe I would see the light beyond the dark skies and start living life again.