Deflategate By: Tom Brady Poem by William Waterway

When it comes to football
it's all about the ball
it's got nothing to do with skill
or giving our fans a thrill

When I cozy up behind the hiker
and give the call to begin the game
he snaps the ball into my hands
as the crowd screams from the stands

Then I make my famous moves
to the left, maybe right, maybe back
either to pass the ball or, to
hand it off to a running back

Where the ball goes, nobody knows
just me - in my moment of glory
whether the ball is soft or hard
I can't be bothered or give a worry

Seems strange to me about the air
inside the ball - being such a big crime
they check the pressure when we start
why not each quarter, or, during half time

Whether a ball is soft or hard at game's end
no difference to me or any team mate
we're here to play our best on game day
not to deflate balls or litigate