Desolation Poem by Roy Merchant

He watched as his mother went mental
He watched as all her dreams died
He looked on as if it was incidental
When unashamedly..she cried and cried

Thirty four years in a marriage
A decision..she never had to make
All of a sudden..there was this carriage
And a long trip she was going to take

Her emotions were in a state of turmoil
He could imagine..God! ..How she must feel
As her indignation. started coming to a boil
And her unreal..reality..became real

Her husband admitted he was being unfaithful
Even of that..she couldn’t be sure
All through his life..he' never been truthful
And his explanations..were always obscure

It was very early in the spring
When the voices she started to hear
At first she ignored the din
Thinking it was a sign of fear

But the voices became persistent
Explaining..where she had gone wrong
Her madness..was becoming consistent
She could cope..but wondered for how long

Can you imagine..i wonder if you can
The man loved some tart..in the family bed
She thought..'can I be a woman
When with me he is always dead'

She never again slept in that bed
Where most of her children were made
Her mind was beginning to see just red
And the voices were becoming a tirade

Seven..that’s the number of children she had
Hard times..that’s what she went through
Sadly..when she should be feeling glad
The devil..concocted his brew

She left home..and to a daughter she went
At last she felt there was hope
But the voices were sure intent
That the lady wouldn’t cope

She went here..there..everywhere
Creating havoc in her family's lives
Trying to destroy everyone who showed care
And isolating their husbands and wives
Eventually all began to realise
The problem was bigger than they thought
She was disintegrating in front of their eyes
And all the efforts were coming to nought

They went to the local housing
Went there more than once
They do not give a damn
And would think you were a nuisance
If you were lying there..
Still..dead..on their floor
If you've ever been homeless
Then you'd know the score

The voices were getting louder
Her actions quite insane
Becoming ultra idiosyncratic
And her comments..so inane
They watched..totally helpless
Watching all rationality fade
They watched..totally helpless
As into the murky depths she wade

The room was very small
Sixty square feet..no more
The bath..still had the remnants
Of the last person's sores
This is where they put her
The only place they had
This was the last and crushing blow
That finally sent her mad

While all this was going on
She filed for her divorce
And by the time she went through the reasons
She was really worse
The family took her to the doctor
And told him of her ills
He just sat there.. Looking helpless
Ejecting her out the surgery door
With another set of pointless pills

At last..at last..she got a flat
Somewhere to call home
Somewhere to rest her aching head
Even if..she was on her own
The kids they got their fingers out
Decorated it real great
It was only when they finished..they realised
It was all too bloody late

The loneliness and pain had won
They had finally taken her mind
The dreams and hurt had faded
But she couldn’t leave her thoughts behind
Six voices were now in control
They eventually took their toll
They misguided..and abused her
And finally took her soul.

Roy Merchant

Copyright 1985