Did I Tell You? Poem by Judith Evans

Did I tell you that my Daddy died?
They said 6 months...
We didn't think he knew
He thought we didn't, because we didn't say
So much to say, so we said nothing
We just cried.

Did I tell you they said he had 6 months?
He had 31 days
How unfair is that, that wasn't enough
31 days for me to grow up and prepare..
For the day I phoned up for advice, and of course he wouldn't be there

Did I tell you I was his baby?
Even at 35
With babies of my own
How frightened I was that he would die
When I was with him on my own

Did I tell you how tired he became?
How I washed his hair as he sat on the bed
How despite his requests, I couldn't 'rub hard'
For fear of 'hurting' the tumours growing in his head

Did I tell you of the jokes we cracked the night before he died?
Eating bacon sandwiches in the early hours...waiting
Ready... or so we thought
He would have loved that we were all together
A family together... for the last time

Did I tell you I was the only one who wasn't there?
I think maybe he waited for me to leave
His 'baby' 'til the end, always protected
A text 'come back now' I didn't think
I didn't dare

Did I tell you how I loved him
How he loved me
How I miss him?
I just wanted to tell you, tell anyone
That my Daddy died.