Digital Cows! Poem by Warren Brown

Well I never! Never, never ever!
Couldn't believe it, how clever!
Still can't believe what I've read
And I'm in the shade, in the shed.

The Queensland Country Life it was
I'd picked it up, best paper in Oz
A glossy brochure fell out of the middle
Caused all the dogs to howl and to piddle!

This is what the headline said
(I wasn't in the sun, I was in the shed)
On large, glossy, bright yellow paper:
"DIGITAL COWS! " - Oh what a caper!

What next? I asked myself, what's next?
Has the world gone mad and who is vexed?
Digital Cows? Some journo's had too much rum
Got his digital info machine stuck up his bum!

Digital Cows? Cows that give a read out?
Hold still there Bessie, lets see what's about
There'll be readings on gas and manure
And maybe on litres of milk, much more pure.

Poor Bessie! I fear she's not feelin' too well
Her LCD's are all out of whack - what the hell
The vet can't come out, he's away, havin' a chat
And his digital diagnosticometer's batteries are flat!

Will Digital Cows will make digital milk and digital butter?
And digital cholesterol put your heart in a digital flutter?
This is a tricky proposition, I will not allow a digital cow
To wander around, analogue cow pats are fine for now.