Dreams From A Jaundiced Eye Poem by Adeoye Adetoba

When i grow up,
I'm going to steal in billions
Of dollars, nairas and pounds.
When i grow up,
I'm going to steal in trillions
Of dollars, nairas and pounds.
I'm not going to carry guns
Neither bare knives or be armed.
I'll be more dignified in my approach
Because i'm Honourable.
I'll reside in the Hallowed Chambers
And with the halo rings of consecration,
I'll be referred to as His Excellency.
I'll rip the treasury asunder,
And with the audacity of a sick-minded plunderer
I'll plunder the wealth of the land and the people.
I'll be rich. I'll be wealthy.
I'll be famous. I'll be celebrated.
I wouldn't even mind if i'm overrated.
The common man i'll reduce to penury.
Deny him education, lest he questions me
And demand my source of wealth.
I'll deny him good food and healthcare,
Lest he becomes mentally alert and healthy
And become a thorn in my flesh.
I'll keep him in perpetual darkness,
Take the lights away from him
To keep him effete and redundant.
If i could get my hands to the skies,
I'll pluck the sun and moon from his sight.
When his groaning becomes getting louder,
And his agitation becomes getting bigger,
I'll send to him his pastors and imams
To preach the message of hope;
To keep telling him he can cope
And keep him waiting for Godot.
I'll make him look up to me
And see me as God-sent and a
Blessing to the land.
Crumbs from my table shall be his food
And he'll glorify God in return.
His wives and daughers i'll make my mistresses,
Yielding to my sick pleasures as i lecherously
Tumble their backs on countless mattresses.
The money earned from servicing my pleasures
They take home to feed their broken husband and father.
His sons shall be my foot soldiers and thugs.
They'll lay down their lives defending me
And i'll comfort his family by their graves.
My family i'll make the model of the town.
My wife adorned with expensive jewelries and lace.
My children, given the best of education
From Harvard, Cambridge, Oxford and Yale.
With numerous chieftancy titles, i'll be consecrated.
I'll be peculiar. I'll be celebrated.
I wouldn't mind even if i'm overrated.
I'll cut corners. Dine with the Devil;
Do everything possible
Just to make this dream a reality.