Dying So Hard Poem by Vision Ghost

How many broken hearts does it take before one gives in?
How many lives does it take before we start to die from within?
That a voice now so eclipsed that once spoke of such sense
Now seems only ever effective when reacting to the defence

The bitterness of misunderstandings preaching war to the soul
Like the agony of mortality and wishing we could all be whole
With five minutes more and a moment we could all return to
And knowing well that some actions are forever burned so true

That we have no witness to the cause of your defence today
Your honour I beseech thee, though I have nothing else to say
The taste of blood flows within my mouth and I cannot spit
Where as my heart once cherished finds only a blackened pit

I tried so hard to find the best in all things before this curse
Tore apart the promises of another lover I so shall immerse
In the memories and the anger that now serves to destroy
But only ever end up hurting myself as if I am just fates toy

Blinded before the blurring of what I cannot perceive as reality
Confuses me so much I feel one thing then another in literary
Senses and thoughts and emotions divulge in a true madness
Released in anger and violation of what I sought for calmness

Another spirit wounded and mortality of their hearts defied
That a moment in time shall never be retrieved to confide
In a kiss and their arms for when all that was felt were charms
Now only the vision of them bring forth such mental harms

Is this negativity of the demon inside another attack on me?
Or is this some new form of cancer never letting me be free?
Can this disease that has claimed so many have a secret fire?
To burn away the soul like a cancer of emotions and desire

If so I must be a first patient and slowly going undiagnosed
So very alone in this dark place and realising I am disposed
Of any thought of comfort, tenderness love and her touch
I’ve been dying so hard to see and only hurt myself so much