Ecyclopedia Of Lies Poem by Raimi Babatunde

Let me open their book
We will begin with chapter one
They can lie for Africa
Infact, their lies can awaken the dead
But there is a caveat
Please don't say I told you

Listen to them
I don't like sex, I just love you
My love for you is not materialistic
Not because of money
I just love your sense of humour
And your six packs, they are killing
I laugh in China "Chin Chong kong"

Shameless players
They be like, when I get to Las Vegas
I will buy you Dallas
They have an MBA in lying technology
They promise to buy the world for you
Always just breaking up with their girlfriends
Or they simply never have any!

Have you encountered their lines
I don't love her, it is you that I love
Buddy, "Na dem oh"
I would have married you
If I met you before my wife
My marriage is a loveless
It is you I truly love

Catch them red-handed
They be like, it's not what you think
It is the work of the devil
Please let me explain
Everybody deserves a ninth chance
It will never happen again
You know I love you!

Before you open your altar
They are like;
There is no one as beautiful as you
I cannot do without you
That lady, we are just friends
How can I go out with her kind
Nothing attached at all
Baby, you remind me of my mother

Have you ever fallen for this lines?
Just come to my house
I will not touch you, "I swear down"
So many girls are dying for me
But my heart belongs to you
I need a woman to settle down with
I see that woman in you

I have not done it before
But when you enter "The place"
It's a complete borehole
Like a stripper she wriggles
Aunty born again virgin
When Sugar Daddy is in view
Baby, he is my uncle becomes her ringtone

He bought you the costliest phone
Yet he does not have a land
When he asks you over
Your period suddenly begins
So, you cannot go down low
Is he a father Christmas
Be advised, judgement day is coming

If i don't hear from you
I will just die
Yours is the first voice in the morning
And my valium at night
I love you more than my mother
I wiill die if you leave me
"Bia", how do you believe these lies?

Take them to a bar
They want something light
Yet they want everything
Baby, you know I don't drink much
I will just manage six bottles or Henessey
Also they don't eat much
Largely because of weight gain
Just six plates of pepper soup will do

Baby, why do you put your phone on silence
She retorts "You know I don't like noise"
"Ndi ara", silence "Gbuo gi there"
Don't say I didn't warnyou
With these excerpts from their encyclopedia
Unhappy? I'm in my house, come and beat me!

Wait, let me confess
That I may make heaven
Am I truly innocent?
Except you are saint
Born on a Monday
After God rested on Sunday
"Abeg, all of us dey the game"