Election Strategy Poem by Richard Jarboe

THERE ARE MORE STUPID PEOPLE,
THAN THERE ARE SMART PEOPLE,
SO IF YOU WANT TO BE PRESIDENT,
TELL STUPID PEOPLE,
SOME KIND OF STUPID LIE YOU'LL DO,
AND MAYBE THEY'LL GO AND VOTE FOR YOU.

START BY FORGIVING THERE STUPIDITY,
TELL THEM YOU'LL GIVE THEM LOTS OF MONEY,
TELL THEM THEY DON'T NEED STUPID COPS,
AND REMEMBER, STUPIDITY NEVER STOPS.

TELL THEM YOU REALLY LOVE THEM,
CALL THEM BROTHERS AND SISTERS,
CHALLENGE THEM TO SEE WHO KNOWS,
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MISSES AND MISTERS.

TELL THEM WE NEED MORE PEOPLE FROM OUT OF TOWN
TO DO THE WORK THEY DON'T WANT TO DO,
TELL THEM YOU THINK THE FLAG ISN'T STUPID,
TELL THEM YOU'RE A PATRIOT TOO.

TELL YOU'RE WILLING TO BLOW UP THE WORLD,
IF OTHER STUPID PEOPLE ATTACK,
TELL THEM ONCE THERE WAS A CHICKEN IN EVERY POT,
AND IF WE'RE LUCHY SOME DAY WILL COME BACK.

(REPEAT FIRST VERSE)