Esther............(5) Poem by Gabe Mendoza

12/22/17

And all through the DaY, I could hear a familiar song play,
How the heart can sink into DarKneSs in a place far away.
When the sun goes down, DawN nowhere near, this is what I heard:
"In the absence of light, let the DaRk reign, & tomorrow your troubles go down the drain."

Louder & louder the music became, forming words on the blackboard.
The various melodies that calm a broken heart, I was sure these words could entertain.
Late into the NiGht, I felt The Hate ring & ring in my ears, until I went completely deaf.
The tunes of Autumn whistled her lullaby: The color of her hair in the shape of a leaf.

Standing on my lawn, I remember the scenes so well, and now I see the truth before me:
In the absence of light, where the DarKnesS corrupts, we invited the entity into our home.
And when the Sun rose the following day, I saw her shadow that followed the NiGht before.
With the LiGht guiding me where to go, I mustn't allow The Hate to rule my heart anymore.


12/23/17

Deep inside the forest, where lost souls cry for an angel high above,
I walked along the trails of dirt to try and find what I left behind: Love.
In times of Yuletide singing and cheering, some would say it is still alive.
'Tis the season they all say, in a gleeful way. The birth of Christ can revive.

I took sips of his wine, ate his bread, and still inside I feel so DeAd.
Sitting on a rock, I saw a strange wild flower from the end of a road.
Light brown-red, it reminded me of a girl I called: The pretty JeW flower.
In times I wanted to believe, her face, her voice allowed me to surrender.

Deep inside the forest, I heard a different song play from the skies:
"On cold winter nights, you have no idea how hard my heart cries."


12/24/17

On the EvE of Christmas, she appeared in cherry ReD-the one related to my JeW friend.
I'm not one to spread Holiday joy, often I've wondered when our heart & soul will amend?
When some are out enjoying the festive time of year, I sit alone in my house, quiet as a mouse.
In my chair, I started to think about her stare. O, EvE: This is the part where it changes course.

I loved her in ways I could not understand. Rain, snow, and through the winds, it is when I felt her most.
Falling into sleep a few hours later, I saw a shadow figure by the window. It was her in the form of a ghost.
She whispered my name, closed my eyes, & said to come with her. Together we traveled to a place as ancient as Israel.
We walked by peppermint-clouded skies, bushes with candy canes hanging, until we ended up at a Gingerbread Chapel.

When we arrived, I saw her sister who died. Twin copy I tell you! She grabbed my hand, smiled and said:

"If you love her like you claim, you don't have much time to say it. You know this needs to come to an end."

Through the night, we shared our stories. She told me about her two beautiful kids named Yazmin & Eden.
Awake from my nap, I heard a song play from the Flower Lady's garden: "Your hate is what we all forbid"

On my 33rd Christmas, I made a wish to the stars: I hope Esther and I forgive what happened.


12/26/17

Half past twelve on Christmas day, around midnight was when I would call her: My favorite flower.
Long past the month of May, when I felt her tears by the Long Island Bay, the days become fewer.
Many of us pray and worship for something that's unseen, what if all to see was placed in front?
"Jesus Christ will save us." I have heard this since my teens. I want to know where my days went.

If the Lord lent strangers a helping hand, would I then be considered a noble man?
When time is measured by grains of sand, let no good deed be treated like a loan.
My Lady offered to repay the damages, willing to pay twice the interest for my heart.
Money isn't enough to beat the charges. The crime is that TiMe will split us far apart.

Up past twelve, I went outside to take a walk. I saw pretty lights & decorative wreaths.
Along the way, I saw a house from the sidewalk. On the lawn were three unlit Menorahs.
I stopped, frowned, and looked at the ground. I realized then I lost my JeW friend.
The fire that burned when he'll be crowned, I screamed across the land to be found.

On this 33rd Christmas, I lit a candle and wished her back HoMe. The seasons of TiMe isn't forever.

1/10/18

Running through the cemetery, into the forest, away from the populated town, I saw her there again.
It wasn't just her, it was all of them. Touch after touch, I ran my fingers down her body clothed in satin.
I knew from the start matters of the heart can allude, to think I could reclaim what I lost years before.
Perhaps I am just an AgeLesS old man, blinded forever, singing his sad tune to no one & everywhere.

I have one last scene, remember it well. This is where I close your eyes and say: "Follow me."

By the pond, stream, or river, select a tree and carve a heart for your lover.
Coming back to recount these days, it was when we said: "I can't recover! "
And all throughout, tree-by-tree, there is another Lost One remembered by with his/her name.
Down by the pond, stream, or river, we let the hikers know who we loved in this picture frame

Here by the water, within the forest, I can still hear her sing in three seasons:
Summer, Autumn, and Winter-these were the notes to cure any addictions.
Softer and softer the music became, until I felt my eyelids heavy, wanting to go to sleep.
An ode to the scent of flowers, a hymn to ease his troubled heart, O! How I weep & weep!

Now I see, now I see: The only thing I was good at was destroying everything in front of me.