Facebook - Re-Visited Poem by Phil Soar

I don't log onto Facebook
I don't have an account
I guess I don't have that much news
To tell the world about
My life is not some chapter
In an autobiographic study
If I need to share my every thought
I'd just call up my buddy
There really is no reason
Why I need to write such shite
To share it with the whole wide world
Almost every night
I doubt someone in Instanbul
Would like to hear me say
That I might wank myself to sleep
Or that I might be gay
I'm not, but that is not the point
I can't see that they'd care
Or want to see the latest stain
Upon my underwear
Some people share their every trait
And put it on their pages
Illiterate folk, who laugh at jokes
They go back through the ages
Announcing that they've been away
And sharing their reviews
Photo's of their bright red flesh
And how they've had 'The Poos'
Friends all join in with the streams
And wish that they'd been there
How they lost their cash, and got a rash
Beneath their underwear
There's nothing Facebook hasn't seen
And nothing that they block
To find something that's quite obscene
Sign on at 12 o'clock
And if you are offended
Perhaps it serves you right
Maybe you should get out some more
And avoid all of this shite
So I don't log onto Facebook
Or any other social media
I'd rather write a poem
Or browse and encyclopedia