Failure Syndrome Poem by Alfred Ramos

Did you ever wake up some morning
And find out you over slept
Because your alarm clock failed to go off
As you jump out of bed
You can’t find your slippers
And when you do you put them on the wrong feet
As you stumble into the bathroom
To dispose of last nights’ pizza and beer
Then you realize you are out of tissue paper
You holler for your wife to bring you some
But then the toilet won’t flush
So you go ahead and shave
And cut yourself when you sneeze
You squeeze out too much tooth paste
And it falls off you brush
As you hurriedly dress
You button up the wrong holes
And you can’t find a matching tie
You run through the kitchen
Where the toast is already burned
And the coffee is too hot
You spill it on your tie but you don’t know it
You jump in your car
But you forgot your keys
But what does it matter
Because when you retrieve them the car won’t start
Finally you‘re your way
But a flashing red light stops you
You were only doing 55
In a 35 mile zone
You ask the policeman to give you a break
He says which leg
A hundred dollar ticket later
You arrive at the gate
The security guard greets you
Hi Mr. Smith, what are you doing here on a Saturday?