Farewell, You Slob Poem by Bryan Norton

Goodbye our very good best friend, we hate to see you go
We hope that you remember us and visit us below
And maybe you'll drop by to say how much you miss us so
That's when we'll call Security in case you want to know

We hear you have the most rad office on the fourth floor high
You're going to have a better view, you're learning how to fly
You know that we have faith in you though we can't tell you why
That's why we had to pay HR to give you one more try

We hope that you achieve your dreams of stardom, wealth, and power
You needn't be the least concerned, they pay us by the hour
The time we had with you dear friend was like a fragrant flower
A flower that died because this year you never took a shower

We wish you now farewell, good luck, there's just one thing we lack
Another person, hopefully, to pick up all your slack
And should you fail in your new job because you are a hack
Our greatest wish is this, you slob, WE HOPE THAT YOU COME BACK!