Fear, Hate, Depression, Love... Poem by Kathlene Ann

What's undefinable and yet so real
Always proves painful to feel.
Through what window my soul views you I do not know.
I'm both relieved and sad to I watch you go.

I want-don't want you in my life.
Your silence cuts me like a knife.
I'd like nothing more than to run away
And forget, at last, about that day-
That early sunny summer day
When first our two paths did cross ways.
The lush green grass, the heavy trees,
The soft flirtation twixt you and me...

How I wish I could forget that day!
Forget your face, forget that ray
Of sunlight that showed your beauty
Without warning my heart of his new duty.
Obligated is he now, tied to you, unable to sing.
You've taken my freedom-become my king.

With as much control as a surgeon over a passed out patient,
You twisted every organ, cut my skin and rend
My mind in two.
One part's against and one's for you.
Am I glad you've tired of your scalpel at last?
Or does this mean that I'll never heal since you've cast,
So heartless, my heart away.
You've held it constantly at bay.

You've kept me questioning myself,
But should I question someone else?
Or maybe not 'someone' but 'something, '
Like: what do all these feelings mean?