Feelings: Nashkurallah, Al-Hamdulilah, Irreverently Poem by Margaret Alice

Nashkurallah

Gary is dead – slowly typing, slowly, slowly
past the snow in my head, past the facts of
the case, Alida oblivious with pills

Slowly typing, slowly, slowly, beyond the ice
in my heart, beyond the cold in my thoughts,
sinking lower into the darkness below

At the base of my mind, beyond sunshine and
warmth, resignation cushioning, enclosing all
reality taking its course

Without rebellion, accepting things as they are
as the will of Allah; burying all dreams of life
for later on; for a magnificent current

In the Multiverse…


Al-hamdulilah

Where did reality go, when did I lose track of it?
Was it when I started making rhymes for Alida
and me when we were in trouble at work and I
acted out my rhymes for her to make her laugh

Or when she brought her dog to work; or when
Alida asked us to dinner to meet Gary for the
first time? Alida resigned, Gary died of a heart
attack – Friday a funeral –

Should I sit in the church, attend the service,
or run away? Saying hallo and running away
sounds right; Gary should not have died right
now. Alida should not be all alone…


Irreverently missed the church service, saw former
colleagues who commented on my widening midline,
what I thought of them I never said – their skin
and everything, you know!

Then I saw Johann, our local poet-translator-writer,
immediately Von-Trapped him with “So long, farewell,
auf Widersehen, goodbye” in Sound-of-Music style,
he fled in fear, but reappeared to greet the family,

I saw my chance and sang a song to drive him
round the bend: “Ek verlang nog altyd na die
tye saam met jou…”* Johann really showed disgust;
I left self-satisfied – I was there, albeit late,

Gary would understand – he'd have
regarded the long faces with disgust,
a few well-timed jokes would
have been more his style…

* I still long for the times I spent with you – Johann has a gender preference that keeps him safe from me, so I can joke all I want.