Pain has taken all purpose from my life,
because of my being unable to help my family.
No one can count on me, including myself.
When pain came into my life,
it stole my self-reliance,
and now, it is destroying the very life force
out of me.
Almost unconsciously, I tried to cram the pain down and close the lid quickly, as if it were a jack in the box.
I came up with other tricks to cope, to hold ot off.
Like doing my 'dance', shifting my weight,
one foot to the other, to enable me to stand just a liitle longer
in the grocery line.
If, in another moment, I am going to fall,
squat down, pretend to look at that item on the bottom shelf.
Who cares if 'they' see, stare at me,
I never realized how fast I washed the dishes,
til my youngest grandaughter asked, 'why? '
Much of the time, I feel as if I've been forced
to run and run and run.
Pain is exhausting me.
I'm finding I can't out-dance it, I can't out-run it.
Pain is gaining, you see.
When pain crosses the finish line,
the tears and screams I've not let out,
will no longer stay within me.