First Love

As I walked one day,
I saw you looking my way.
Quickly you met my eyes and away you turned,
But for some reason, I still felt the strange fire that burned.

Frantically I looked this way and that
Until finally my gaze rested where you sat.
The fire rekindled and grew
As butterflies within me danced and flew.

So beautiful, so true.
Everything became unfocused except for you.
The feeling of desire
Lifted me as my mind went higher.

I dreamed of a holy place
Where the world turned at our own pace,
And you and I were together
And our affection held us closer than ever.

Suddenly the clouds were shaded dark,
And the sky danced with bright sparks.
A vein of lightning struck our hold,
And I fell through the air that became cold.

As I dropped from that magical place,
Glistening tears flew from my face.
I knew what was done.
The death of my joy made me numb.

I woke up from the tragedy,
But I didn't want to wake up to this reality.
I ran to you where you sat under the tree,
But to my dismay you began to flee.

Away from me you went,
And feeling as if my life was spent,
I caught you by the wrist
And I struggled to hold you as you did resist.

Then I found your eyes, but they weren't the same.
No longer within was a passionate flame,
But ice.
Cold, cold ice…

At once my heart shattered within,
and the agony flooded in.
I let you go instantly.
You spoke the feared words 'I don't love you, ' and finished me.

I crippled and doubled over as you left,
Feeling as though my heart was a victim of theft.
My world crumbled from underneath me,
And I was falling again, where there was no light I could see.

Deep down I flew,
Yet I had no idea what Hell I was going through.
I drifted as my heart gave way,
For I should have known that you would never stay.

Before it had looked as though we could survive,
That our relationship would be more than alive.
I simply followed your footstep.
Little did I know that I would be left.

Little did I know I wasn't liked.
Little did I know my love could be spiked.
Little do I want to remember this event.
Little do I want to remember how I thought my love for you was meant.

I wish I could forget it.
My soul is no longer lit.
My life is nonexistent.
I feel like a Nobody.

My skin is pale and white,
And my happiness isn't right.
My eyes contain dark things.
My voice no longer sings.

Darkness seeps in and encloses my heart within me,
And trickles in my tears as I know I am not free.
It runs through my veins and seals the opening above.
I cannot escape the feeling of never being with my First Love.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013

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1/27/2021 9:18:18 PM #