First Night Of Winter Poem by JAMES T. ADAIR

Late at night or in the early AM
the mind plays tricks
I'm too tired to cry
My eyes are dry
from a night driving
from of all things... and AC-DC concert
and if you've never been....you really need to!

The new puppy is asleep
The other dog is snoring
and his eyes are twiching back and forth
underneath his eyelids
He's dreaming
maybe about the new puppy

Me, I'm awake trying to keep a coal fire burning
because its dying
even a fire will die without enough air
But I've shaken the grates
and I'm staying awake to add coal
outside its cold and wet with snow and sleet
the first snow of winter...in October

But me I'm lost here
smelling like charcoal
and Crown Royal
and new puppy
inside I'm hurting again and again
over people I've put my trust in
and somehow I never do learn

But in my early morning daydream
that makes me more lonely
I imagine a woman beside me
my friend and companion
she loves me
she noticed my far away look
and comes to sit beside me

I see in her eyes concern and care
and her kindness toward me
I feel her soft hand behind my neck
and when she sits near me I feel her skin
and her warmth
I smell her light and fragrent smell
and the cold smoothness of her cheek against mine
In a whisper she asks what's wrong
and I tell her....I lost a friend tonight.
and I was hurt by another.
I was thinking about the past
and that it was someone's birthday today.
and it shouldn't bother me but it does.


And she says, don't worry anymore tonight
I'm here
I won't let anyone hurt you anymore
and I believe her
and she brings me back
and makes life feel worth living again
and I'm thanful for her
and pull her close and don't want her to ever leave

But such dreams make the night longer
and dry eyes
glazed with the coal dust
can't hold back tears
Not tonight
they just feel like sandpaper tears
And the writing only documents the moment
But doesn't change the emptiness
Lonliness can come when least expected

2008 © James T. Adair