Zac Plague

Rookie (10-21-92 / Danville, Virginia)

Flying With You - Poem by Zac Plague

I close my eyes and I smile
Knowing you will be there to see.
I watch you smiling and I can't help
But to let out a laugh of joy
You kiss my lips and my heart takes flight,
Soaring above all others.
You take my hand and we kick off from the ground.
We're flying away,
Like two doves in a flight to their nest.
A home: The place I feel at when I look into your eyes.
I live in your laugh, in your smile,
In every embracing hug received from you.
But I am not alone. I am never alone.
I am with you, directly by your side.
Flying above everyone. No wings attached.
Flying with my angel. Flying with my love.
Flying with you.

Comments about Flying With You by Zac Plague

  • (12/12/2009 8:53:00 PM)

    This is not as well as the first one i read,
    but its very good: ]
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  • (12/10/2009 6:27:00 PM)

    heya, newbie, always good to see a new poet start writing.

    Yeah, this is a very sweet poem and your girlfriend should feel really flattered. I particularly like the first two lines of your poem, as that's a nice sentiment and you've put it well.Though you could consider rephrasing it slightly to 'I close my eyes and smile/ knowing you will be there to see.' It just cuts a couple of unnecessary words and tightens the sentence, making it flow a little better if you ask me. But i will leave it up to your judgement.

    I would reconsider the term 'laugh of love', as to me it sounds a little over the top and too abstract to say much. Perhaps 'laugh of joy' instead? I think you have a good flow to your first half of the poem, which is something a lot of writers struggle with, but you do it well, so well done!

    Though some of the second half could use tightening, the dove line for instance is a little too long, especially since it succeeds a very short line.Perhaps you could cut down some of the words? But judging line length and gaining a feel for rhythm is something that comes with practice and from reading other poets.

    Extremely romantic and you have some good material here: -)
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  • (12/10/2009 8:02:00 AM)

    Arrrr the pirate is getting a lil air soon as i get over it I'll give this poem
    another read.
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Poem Submitted: Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Poem Edited: Friday, December 11, 2009

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