Fractured Idioms- Updated Today Wednesday 4/25/12 - Poem by Lonnie Hicks
A fresh pair of eyes
Really yummy with soup.
A lick and a promise
Licking and promising is not necessarily a good idea with a lot
A little bird told me
If so don't tell people because they will lock you up for talking
to little birds and rightly so..
A lot on my plate
Refers to how people become overweight..
A month of Sundays
Refers to special services in some churches..
A penny for your thoughts
Refers to the approximate value of the advice some people give..
A rising tide lifts all boats
This occurs just before the Tsunami hits.
A rolling stone gathers no moss
Refers to the on-again, off again romance between Mick Jagger and
the model Kate Moss.
A textbook case
Refers to a special case libraries use to prevent textbook theft.
A watched pot never boils
Because most pots are paranoid.
About as useful as a chocolate teapot
So what is wrong with hot chocolate?
Absence makes the heart grow fonder
But too much absence will get you suspended from school.
Accident waiting to happen
Describes Presidential Elections
Hair on Fire
A lighted match with certain shampoos will
Does a one-legged duck swim in circles?
Yes, while frantically searching for a paddle.
Our President's look face-on.
All eyes on me
The feeling when you are in a police line-up
All hat, no cattle
Refers to Texans.
All of the above
The most commonly used answer when guessing on a multiple
All over but the shouting
When a dentist shows you your wisdom tooth.
All over the map
The answer an old GPS program gives you when you ask for
your exact location.
All over the place
The tracks of the town Gossip
Raining cats and dogs
Considered to be much safer than raining
A Blessing In Disguise:
Refers to the practice of some priests of
donning cloaks and dresses as
disguises before blessing the
A Chip On Your Shoulder:
Slipping and falling in a cow pasture will
often result in this event.
Toss-Up refers to the ancient Viking
practice of baby-tossing at festivals. Some
people to this day toss babies even
though it is now illegal.
As High As A Kite:
The world record for having tossed a
Beat A Dead Horse:
Cheating in horse racing.
Answer the call of nature
When wild bears go to the bathroom outside
Ants in one's pants
One of the hazards of making love in the woods
Any port in a storm
Some people drink when the weather turns bad
To upset the applecart
Carts made out of apples are easily upset
To be up in arms
What a six foot woman has to do to kiss a short guy
Professional critics in the home furnishing field.
Asking for trouble
What you are doing when you try to get your money out of a
Description of a recently deceased vampire
A rude awakening
When your mother wakes you up at 12 noon telling you you are
late for school also when a pterodactyl does a bird thing on
you while you are sleeping at a campsite
bet on the wrong horse
When you bet on dead horses, see above
Get off my back!
Over-zealous love play
A bad egg
Rude smells in a crowed elevator
Bag of bones
Refers to the Olson Twins
Bang your head against a brick wall
What Rock bands do at concerts
What bars seem to do if you have too much to drink.
A indigent liar who can't afford a scarf in winter
Battle of wills
When two sides of the family claim their will is the correct
Bee in your bonnet
'A' in your bonnet didn't sound right
Blood, sweat and fear
The process of paying US taxes each year
Bone of contention
A food fight involved T-Bone steaks
Lick someone's boots
A means of getting promotions is some offices
Get too big for your britches
Sudden weight gain
Born with a silver foot in one's mouth
A deadly disease of the rich
Bottom falls out
The first sign of aging
Breathe down someone's neck
An inept lover on the first date
Pass the buck
Take the bull by the horns
A fatal mistake in bull-fighting
Licking the candle at both ends
Carrot and Stick
A famous comedy duo
The process of giving up reading after learning about the evils of drink. (Henny Youngman)
Cash in your chips
A social program for farmers in which cow chips can be exchanged for cash
Wouldn't be caught or seen dead
Advocates of cremation
Champ at the bit
Using prize fighters to pull carts
The slowest thing in the universe
The rate at which one reaches for the check in a group in a restaurant.
Change the face of something
Refers to the process of putting on make-up
Change of heart
Also known at the Dick Chaney maneuver
Prices in a really inexpensive bar
Chew the fat
An anorexic rehabilitation program for the Olsen Twins
Pay day at Chinese factories
Set eyes on someone
A game of Mr. Potato Head
A special market where bears shop for berries fruits and grubs
Been there, done that
The act of reporting out to a group concerning a recent trip to the bathroom
The act of lying to help out a friend
Baptism of fire
Utilized in the Greek orthodox church and involves torches and naked men
Balls to the walls
For men a very uncomfortable position and involves lot of screaming.
Bad taste in your mouth
The culinary after-taste after sampling of 'a fresh pair of eyes'
Babe in the woods
Babe in arms
Every high school boy's dream
The first sign of balding in men
dropp of a dime..
What could wake my granny from a deep slumber and she could get that dime before it bounced twice.
If you have too many chasers then you get the free ride in the ambulance.
Butter someone up
Disaster written all over it
When a octopus shows up at the cow milking contest
Do a double take
If you are two-faced politician this comes easily
Do a disappearing act
When the bill comes at lunch
Doom and Gloom
Twin prophet brothers in Revelations
Drag one's feet
A style of walking popularized by Quasimodo
In dribs and drabs
How allowances are meted out in most households
Drink like a fish
Downing shots in smoky bars so much that the neck is shortened thus giving a fish-like appearance
What happens to a one-legged duck after swimming for hours in a circle
Drive up the wall
The attempt to get at a pesky fly
dropp like flies
A successful fly-hunt with a rolled up newspaper
Get a rise out of somebody
An event which occurs when a person sits on a pin
Give someone a piece of your mind
A rash act usually done by people who really can not spare pieces of their mind.
Give someone the run-around
Give the shirt off one's back
Love play in a hot climate
Give somebody the slip
Love play in a hot climate
Give and take
Love play in a hot climate
The upstairs neighbors spying on the people below
What happens to people in mining towns after drinking the water
Go against the grain
When certain obsessive people insist that the fat end of the rice grain ought to be eaten first.
Not to be confused with going egg-plant
Go down in history
The act of failing World History ten times.
Go hand in hand
Two guys holding hands at the urinal
When the going gets tough..
You get a sharper steak knife
He who rules usually has also stolen the gold
Have goose pimples
A rare disease where ordinary pimples take of the shape of a goose
Refers to the bottom part of the marijuana plant
Let the grass grow under your feet
Grease somebody's palm
A practical joke Pacifica Islanders play upon one another
Keep your nose to the grindstone
Advice given to people with long pointed noses
Grit your teeth
Has to do with the southern love of grits
Stomach hunger pains
Face like a bulldog chewing a wasp
Face that would stop a clock
Refers to the contrarian nature of the French and means 'they did it again'
A style of talking among two teens when they hear the key in the lock
Feel the pinch
Subway riding in New York
Think on one's feet
A person who thinks while upright
A figment of one's imagination
Popular mint flavored figs
A finger in every pie
Young boys at weddings
Fishing for compliments
An act associated with innocent questions like 'Do I look fat in this? '
Follow one's nose
The single greatest reason people get lost
Rushing to deposit your paycheck in a wall street bank
A foot in the door
A maneuver used by aggressive salespeople
A free ride
What young men in big cars offer to unsuspecting young girls on Friday nights on the main drag.
Little known fact is that Freud occasionally cross-dressed.
Friends in high places
A popular bar in Chicago
Have a frog in one's throat
What happened one day when it was raining cats, dogs and frogs
Full of piss and vinegar
An ancient Viking list of ingredients for pot pie.
One hand washes the other...
(... and together they wash the face.)
A saying used to taunt one-handed people
Have your head in the clouds
The winner in the tallest person in the world contest
Have one's head screwed on
When a face-lift simply isn't enough
Have your back to the wall
What you do if someone threatens to kick your rear-end
Have you gone out of your mind?
Citizen question for all politicians
Have the nerve (to do something)
Citizen request of politicians
Have a stab at something
Really tough flank-steak
Run with the hare and hunt with the hounds
Refers to the crossing breeding of a rabbit and a fox where the rabbit barks.
Bury one's head in the sand
The attempt to hide at the beach when your girl-friend spots you with another woman.
A swelled/swollen head
What happens to one's head when soaked in self-delusion for an extended period of time.
Want someone's head on a platter
The proper way to eat a head
Heard it through the grapevine
Rumors one can hear when creeping in the vineyard late at night listening to each grape one at a time
Heart of stone
Replacement heart surgery for Dick Chaney
A heavy hand
When King Kong picks up Fay Wray
The variety of Jeebies one experiences when watching certain shows on television
(go to) Hell in a handcart
If one is to got to hell it is preferable to go in this slow mode of transportation
Cats trained to herd cows
Hide one's light under a bushel
Teen-ager caught smoking in the barn.
Hide a multitude of sins
Why there are doors on most nightclubs
Hit the ground running
To hit the ground while running is considered extremely difficult
Hit the hay
Extreme anger expressed often as one punches hay in a barn.
Hit the road
A form of road rage involving plummeting asphalt
Hit the sack
What some people do when disappointed in bed
Happy as a flea in a doghouse
When the husband has messed up he is said to be in the doghouse—apparently the fleas follow him there.
I'll be a monkey's uncle
Darwin's Eureka moment
I've got a bone to pick with you
Early caveman dining practice
If the cap fits, wear it
A dental proverb
If wishes were horses, beggars would ride
The Annual Homeless Jockey race at Pemlico
If you can't run with the big dogs, you'd better stay on the porch
Advice to Wolfman wanna be's
If you'll pardon my French
Swearing at the French
In a fix
A knife fight behind a Texas bar but having left your knife at home
In a flash
The speed at which boyfriends vanish when marriage and babies are mentioned
In another's shoes
How shoe thieves are ultimately caught
A confusing term because no one knows what a 'cahoot' is.
In dire straits
A maritime location near Malta
The wife's look when the husband eyes the young girls at the church social
A popular name given female deer
Jog my memory
When a lover keeps running through your mind
Jump down someone's throat
A very difficult maneuver resulting in severe indigestion
Jump the shark
Challenges sharks make to poor swimmers
Keep someone on their toes
Tall women kissing short guys
Keep your chin up
Keep your eye on the ball
A detachable eye is useful in some sports
Keep your head
Negotiating with Cannibals
A geeky duck
Land of nod
Corporate board meetings
A victory in the Avalanche Olympics
Characterizations of the value of American stocks in 2008
Make a monkey of someone
World reaction to Darwin's theories
Make ends meet
Night club dancing
Make your hair stand on end
A hair style also called the 'Mohawk' or the 'Mullet'
Make your toes curl
Really good love-making
Half a mind
The intelligence allotment meted out to congress people
Handwriting like chicken scratch
Unfair criticism of chicken's and doctors attempt to learn to write.
Hang by a thread
An outlaw's suggestion as to what kind of rope ought to be used in his hanging.
Hard act to follow
Being next in line after the Octopus has had his turn at the cow milking contest
Hard of hearing
A disease husbands and teens acquire when something is being said they don't like. It is considered incurable.
The act of pulling a hat out of a rabbit
Have a bash
What happens behind Texas bars late at night to innocent bystanders
Have a foot in both camps
Foolish attempt by some people to share their feet in a conflict between two camps
Have a go
English version of the American idiom indicating a need to go to the bathroom
Have a trick up your sleeve
The ability to produce rabbits and hats from one's sleeve
I hereby give notice of my intention
The practice in some societies before a date where males are required to clearly give notice of their intentions before the date is accepted
I may be daft, but I'm not stupid
A confusion stupid people have, not understanding that daft and stupid mean the same thing.
I'll cross that road when I come to it
A common chicken manifesto
I've got your number
When women tell a date after they have pretended to write down a guy's number on a piece of paper
Idle hands are the devil's handiwork
Who knew that Satan knitted hands to pass the time in hell
If you lie down with the Devil, you will wake up in hell
Advice mothers give to girls dating the bad boy in town
In a fog
Summer time in San Francisco
Outlawed in 20 states
Jump on the bandwagon
Jungle out there
Two monkeys commiserating
Justice is blind
And the police are searching for who ever did it.
Refers to the Australian Open Tennis courts where Kangaroos are allowed to compete
Keep body and soul together
Refers to a romantic relationship where men want the former and women want the latter.
Keep in touch
The goal of every high school male on a date
The decision not to send mother to a nursing home
Keep your fingers crossed
Futile gesture in a high stake power match
Keep your options open
Keeping one's option open is the first step toward trouble
Keep your pants on
A phrase often heard in parked cars late at night
Keep your powder dry
A prime directive for cocaine addicts
Kick the can down the road
A game played primarily by US congress people
Kick up your heels
An expression of joy usually followed by a serious tumble to the ground
Leave well alone
A warning issued by the owner of a desert well or watering hole.
Lend an ear
Gruesome lending practice
Let the cat out of the bag
Refers to the emancipation of felines imprisoned in bags
Let the grass grow round your feet
What happens with very slow moving people
On a roll
How a 'fresh pair of eyes' are best served
On a silver platter
See above for guidance
What is said when ancient Vikings played a game of toss the Molotov Cocktail
Where the players above sought refuge after being on fire
On my watch
A obsessive person who believes that demons live on his or her watch generally they are paranoid and believe their watch is watching them
On all fours
How the above folks try to hide.
Packed like sardines
A critique of the packing styles of sardines by other fish
A variety of Tiger that eats only paper
A fad in 18th century London where Parrots opened plume and feather shops
A cruel ancient Mayan game in which really thin people were thrown down a field and caught by a teammate seeking to score which was called mustering.
Piece of cake
What somebody ought to offer the Olsen twins.
Pigs will fly before
Pig tossing among the ancient Vikings usually resulting in broken bones and bad bacon.
An exceptionally speedy male deer.
Rack and ruin
A popular bar in Chicago
Ragged blue line
A critique of the fashion sense of union soldiers in the Civil War
Rags to riches
A popular notion during World War 11 that one could get rich selling rags
Rain on your parade
What happens to Indian dance lines at the pow-wow right after the rain dance.
Olympic Weigh lifting involving only guys named Cain
Brow lifts often are part of a face lift and contribute to that look of perpetual surprise.
Rake over old coals
In drought situations citizens sometimes replace their green lawns with ones filled with great lumps of coal.
Rank and file
Refers to the military procedure where ranks of troops are taught to do their own nails.
In the past rats were thought to be an entirely separate race.
Rather you than me
What the bosses at CBS news told Dan Rather as they forced his resignation
Refers to the use of rare steaks in card games
Read between the lines
Refers to the mistaken belief that invisible ink is hiding secret messages between written text.
Read from the same page
Guys use this tactic while pretending to be interested in a girl's poetry
Read someone the riot act
This is done when the illiterates are rioting.
This is said when dealers at Casino are properly handling cards
Rearrange the deckchairs on the Titanic
Despite popular notions this was done in a vain attempt to build a raft.
Recharge your batteries
This is what Martians among us do in the dead of night when no one is looking.
Recipe for disaster
This is a recipe with way too much Tabasco sauce.
This refers to a rumored communist cell of fish at the local aquarium
Red letter day
Refers to T-shirts Vampires wear after a sucking
Showing a Red flag to a bull
Usually done during the Flags of the World quiz at bull-fights
Tape that is used to cover bullet wounds
Rest on your laurels
The Roman practice of sleeping on leaves
Revenge is sweet
Refers to the mistaken notion that bitterness is sweet
Historians who work for the victors
Rhyme or reason
The choice poets make with every poem
A person who thinks they are funny who touches you in the ribs on the New York Subway
A drunk passenger on a cross country flight
Riding a horse who has not had new horseshoes in over three years.
The mistaken belief that on the passenger side in cars people are issued shotguns
Bets crooks make about the how easy a bank vault will be to open
Safe pair of hands
In police work this refers to a pair hands in handcuffs
Salt in a wound
Refers to cannibal condiments
Sense blood in the water blood
First sign that you have been bitten by a shark
To be continued
Comments about Fractured Idioms- Updated Today Wednesday 4/25/12 by Lonnie Hicks
Read this poem in other languages
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
Still I Rise
The Road Not Taken
If You Forget Me
Edgar Allan Poe
Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening
I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You