Mindy Brown

Rookie (1992 / oklahoma)

Free To Believe - Poem by Mindy Brown

days pass by in a blur,
defining me for all eyes to see
tingles licking their way down my body remind me to breathe and just believe
believe that these weeks shall soon be over indeed

live and love
as you continue to deeply breathe
and hope that you will be able to continue on
even when the world seems gone

even when everyone has stepped out for a moment in time
this is when you should stand tall above all
even when you feel small

lend a hand when in reality all you want to do is turn and run
only to hide in a god forsaken hole, which means no one has won
only lost everything there is to be if only you would have believed
believed in me

you stand before me
an ocean between us, a fog upon your merciless face of facades
judging, hating, discriminating the being i continue to be
a being i continue to be no matter what you may believe

you see me
succeeding, beating away all the bittersweet memories
only to walk tall among the gods of the world
while you, you lie upon your face
weeping that you are such a disgrace
blaming all for your fall, yet taking no responsibility at all

you are what you make yourself believe
you can continue on to greater things
but only if you believe
and breathe free from your endless sea of personal demons

i look upon you with pity and distaste
for what you did for me
you expect from me
a mother is what you should have been
not a friend

you left me crying alone in the dark to fight it all on my own
you left me alone in the dark, as i screamed in fear, to find my own way back here
only to be judged and found unfit
then dismissed from your radar of attention

which is, in my mind, for the better
yet i shall remember, remember the woman you used to be
before you too gave up on your dreams
and turned oh so mean

black as coal is your heart
red as hell is your eyes

you are the devils wh0re in my eyes
for what you do not realize
is that you need me
i shall never need you again, my 'friend'

i have waited for the sun to shine upon you and i
only to be disappointed as the rain came in waves
i would have left long ago
if it were not for the brother i love so

so stand there,
scream in a rage
raise your hands at me in hate
i shall laugh in your face
and walk away from your disgrace
for you see, you shall, in the end, be alone and nothing to me
as i was nothing but a outlet to your bitter pain
yet i shall not ever again allow myself to be your victim

watch me walk away
watch me move on to greater times, and have no more reason to pay
pay you with bribes for my freedom, for i am free
or so the liberty bell sings

the time is near
(are you shaking in fear?)
i will be greater than you, my dear
i shall be heard
never again shall i be your little bird
for i am free
free from your obscene cage full of disgrace


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Poem Submitted: Friday, December 25, 2009

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