Fresh Air Poem by Arienne Smith

So many nights fill with tears of anger and agression
so many days with the same bland expression
Finding release in the pain that I could cause myself
believing in nothing else
Same tormented dreams ever day
cant get over the same still images that seem to replay
Trying to distort the pictures of reality
so the world around me is fake

The same nights I wake up with cold chills
is the same night I fell, myself pushing closer to the edge
Feeling distraut because I cant scream for help
trying to get pass the pain I felt
Spending more time awake than sleep
trying not to feel these tears that creep, from deep inside me
Holding onto all of it for 14yrs.
screaming as the end pulls nearer and nearer still
Waiting for these empty feelings to fade
so I can live a better day
Not cursed by my past
or the fears that last
More than