Friday Feelings Poem by Penni Currie

* note this poem was originally drawn on a large canvas in all different colours and metallics in long meandering swirls and the page had to be continually turned round and round to follow the narrative. It was all different sizes and styles of font and It was embellished with butterflies, flowers, paisley patterns and assorted symbols*

Lights, bright lights, coloured lights, flashing, swirling, floating, dying. Rushing through my head. I swirl in and out. I float so high on the noises that are never said. Reds and greens, pinks and blues, mixing and merging together. Androgynous beings, being. Here, now, alive. Perhaps, well maybe never, someday, one day you'll say, 'I love you, love you, love you', and mean it. My heart is beating, beating regularly but it's held together with elastic bands. Sometimes they get too tight, and cut in.
No matter how hard we try, it doesn't ease the pain.
Take me to bed and lay with me. Lay down by my side. I want nothing more from you. I would be your asexual bride. No need to talk I feel it all in my head. The lights, bright lights, coloured lights but not blue, especially not with red. It drives me wild, goes way back to when I was a child. I hate blue lights. They make me show my fear. I'd rather have the dark of the night. Swirl with me. Float with me. Baby take my hand. In and out of corners we'd fly in this multi-faceted land. Do I ever tell you I love you, in words, not in rhyme. I wish I had the ability to tell you all the time. I dearly need a friend now. I need you to be mine. All the day, in every way my head is full of you. I don't know what you've done to me and I don't think I want to. Please take my hand and show me the way to total spiritual love. We'll leave our bodies down below and float high together up above. Psychotic reactions to what I feel, so very up, then down. Unrequited, unshared. It hurts so much, I wish I knew if you cared. Pinks and blues and yellow dots, dancing dragons with luminous spots. My head is in there. It's in there alone. Looking for rest, too far from home. My legs are walking down the street. In mid-air they follow you. Hear the tune I dream. I dream sometimes you do. I'm dreaming of you. I fall on my face, upside down. Fall on my face so hard on the ground. The butterfly flits around the flowers, looking for a place to land. The butterfly flits around the flowers, only to land in your hand. Sometimes I wish that I were dead, I'd be more alive inside a tomb than I can ever be inside this room. Flashing, swirling, floating dying, falling to the ground to lie, until disturbed again. The mote swirls faster, roun and round. To finally rest on barren ground. Please put out that light.

With stardust in my eyes the moonchild grows in me. Soon he will be born and I will be set free.

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